I’ve become aware of something.
I tend to run into things. A lot!
I’m not referring to the occasional stumble on a pavement, or general clumsiness. I’m talking about full-blown face plants both in the physical and metaphorical sense. Everything turns upside down.
It appears that throughout my life there’s been a rather repetitive pattern of these sorts of experiences such as falling from a trapeze during a live show, fainting while meditating, fainting while flying, passing out in the snow, becoming homeless (albeit momentarily), and smacking my head straight into someone else’s… and the latter not by choice.
Yet here I am, to all intents and purposes, an intelligent, joyous and extremely capable woman in my late 30s; a yogi, lover, writer, seeker, actor, singer, traveller and creator who has accomplished so much, often with great degrees of poise, balance and control. For instance, standing on my head or my hands in a yoga class is no great feat.
So why am I still running into things?! These days the ‘things’ tend to be less from the material realm and more metaphysical, like, for example, my own ego or the sorts of limitations I set for myself (which, dare I say, don’t actually exist!). This doesn’t make the collision any less painful though, dear readers. Perhaps you can relate.
Something was indeed awry here and I was intrigued. The supposed steady platform of my thoughts which I had relied upon and identified with inextricably throughout my life was failing me. It had been the God of my own understanding, the guiding force that had ruled my life, yet inevitably led me to be head over heels time and time again (but not in the good, loved-up way).
Quite simply, I can’t help but live my life HEAD ON.
In light of this revelation, and my recent move from one hemisphere to the other (which seems so terribly apt), I’ve embarked upon a journey of analysis of these head jobs. There’s got to be some gold in all this: some higher learning, deep down in the depths of the face-plant.
Indulge me, if you will, as I turn around, journey back (and down) for healing. I’m about to turn everything in my life on its head. Wish me luck. Oh, and do come along for the ride. There may just be something enlightening down there… or at the least, something you can identify with or laugh your head off about along the way.
Until the next instalment, heads up my friends!